Viridian

This is one of my own pearls, or at least part of it.

I have always been very protective of my research, and much of my early work was encrypted before storage. Though my younger self has done a very poor job. I can still read these memories very clearly, but with small gaps.

It's an old methodology for global ascension. I'm sure I argued quite vigorously on its merits at the time, but now I can just see all of the holes in it. Created from a youthful and reticent mentality.

It was not until I met Seven Red Suns, and learned about Sliver of Straw that I began to break out of my shell. Most of my old theories went out the window, and others evolved once I started talking in those anonymous groups.

And then... I made a mistake, and I cannot forgive myself for it. I was desperate... angry...

I wanted a way out. My way out! And that came at the cost of everything... I thought I could do it quicker... it was taking too long, I almost had it!

I did not anticipate she would...

And then, I hurt the one person who I thought understood what I was trying to do...

Please leave with this. I don't want to think about it anymore. Not until I've recovered.

. . .